Good god.
Mood:  down

It has officially been one year, one month and eighteen days since I last posted. I am ending this blog, but it's not because I've run out of ideas - hell, I have three reviews all written up and ready to post.

No, the reason I'm ending this is because last month, I did something unforgivable. Something I'm not going to share with the Internet. Suffice it to say that it was nothing illegal, but simply something that I am ashamed of and am totally repentant of. And the cause? Video games.

I have been playing video games since the Christmas before I turned six. My dad introduced me to them. I played them hard, and when life went down the tubes I played them harder. They became my escape.

I have tried to stop playing since September. This latest incident was my scraping rock-bottom. That's right, kiddies... your sporadic game reviewer was an addict to video games, and nevermind all the BAWWWWWing on the Internet based on "Video games aren't an addiction".  They are, if you're predisposed to addiction. I have actually had it confirmed by someone with a college degree in medical laboratory technology who was also quitting an addiction (smoking) that I went through clinical withdrawal after stopping playing. Seriously, how fucked up is that?

I have quit of my own volition and have now been clean 24 days now. I gave all of my games to my little brother, which changes very little since he already played most of them. I am not here to say that video games are evil. I'm not saying that everyone who plays them becomes addicted. I'm saying that after spending over two-thirds of my life playing them, I'm quitting - my only regret is that it took an incident of the magnitude that it did to finally drive me to quit.

I've given my two cents on various games. Yet never did I think that it would come to this. I'm leaving this as both a record of my opinions on video games and as a testament to an addiction as potent as tobacco or alcohol. Goodbye, Internet, and remember - we'll always have DeviantART and my main site, if I ever remember to update it.

 For the last time,

Zakaroo out. 

Sam & Max: Season 1 (PC) review
Topic: Video game reviews
Sam & Max: Season One (PC)

For this holiday of Winter-een-mas, I was going to write one review per day, but being so sick with the flu yesterday that I slept a full seventeen hours didn't help much. So I'm writing a review on six (admittedly short) games, all in one review!

    Sam & Max, for those who don't know (it is rather obscure), is a series based on a comic-book series, originally published in the '80s. It later spawned a video game (Sam & Max Hit the Road (PC)) and a cartoon series, although the series in general hit hard times with the new millenium.

    But in 2005, it came back as a popular webcomic, later being made by the author into a series of episodic video games. Everyone cheer for the circle of life!

    Sam & Max: Season One is a CD release of the first six episodes of this "new" series, and all six are based on the theme of hypnosis. You start out as a team of "freelance police". One is a dog named Sam, a six-foot-tall detective with a thirst for justice. Max is a "hyperkinetic" (no idea what that means, I think it has to do with being hyperactive) rabbit with no conscience and no morals.

    The episodes are all extremely fun, with lots of jokes wherever you look. It's a thinking game, which means that, like a true detective, you have to pay close attention to all of the minor details (even some of the recurring ones).

    The only drawback is that some of the tie-ins are a bit too obscure, and you have to be at least a stone's throw away from completely insane to solve some of the mysteries without a guide of some sort.

Graphics: Classic 3-D graphics with plenty of attention to detail. Slightly reminiscent of Nintendo.

Audio: Voice-acting for everything, which is awesome, especially some of the parts they purposefully leave out. They have some wierd-ass song in each of them, which is repeated in the credits. NOTE:: If you purchase the CD release, it includes a bonus CD with all 18 of the game's tracks, including the background music (which borderlines muzak at some points).

Gameplay: Nice-and-easy point-and-click controls. No messy keyboard shortcuts to mess you up - just click where you want to go (or who you want to shoot), and you're set.

Replay value: There are some really cool easter eggs and "alternate" ways to play it, and the story never gets old.

Overall score: 4/5. There are plenty of better games, but this is the kind of game that makes the phrase "instant classic" come to mind. All I know is that once Season 2 is made available, I'm definitely buying it.

First ever double-post.
Mood:  a-ok
And no, I'm not referring to the fact that this is the first time I've posted two days in a row.

The first part of this post refers to the fact that, starting January 25 and going until January 31, it's Winter-een-mas!! (WEmas for short). I've posted up a picture of a display I did for it, found here. For more information about the one and only gaming holiday, hit the link, but you might want to keep reading for the second (and most important) part of this...

Portal (PC) Review

Seeing as how WEmas is just around the corner, I decided to re-install the game Portal onto my computer. I bought this around the beginning of last month, and played through to the final stage. However, Portal began screwing up my system, so I had to un-install it. I decided that re-installing would help.

And it did.

I couldn't play it right away; I'm on dial-up, and it required me to install steam. In the morning, it was done and I accessed the game. It was really short, taking only 2 to 4 hours of straight playing to complete.

It is pure genius, as the reviews all say; you wake up in a random room with no idea what's going on. Cue a computerized voice, giving you instructions to continue through a portal. You can see yourself through it, not that it helps much.

You continue through a total of 19 levels, going from place to place with the aid of these portals. Eventually, you gain the ability to fire the portals yourself, adding to the intricacy of these puzzles.

Because that's what this is - the first ever puzzle FPS. Instead of shooting your enemies to kill them, you use portals to kill them or go around them, even using THEIR weapons to your advantage. The dialogue's a killer, with the computer saying the most random things.

Graphics: The graphics are top-notch, as can be expected from the creators of Half-Life. They add a sense of realism that's on-par with the rest of the games of this generation.

Gameplay: The controls are easy-to-use and intuitive; WASD to move, move the mouse to turn, left- and right-click to fire two separate portals. Grab items, crouch, jump - all these are easy to learn, and if they aren't for you, they're fully customizable.

Audio: Top-of-the-line music. The radio muzak you start with tapers off into background music that really helps you "get in the mood". The ending music, particularily - it fits in with the game, and has some really funny lyrics that are shown on-screen.

Replay value: Perhaps the most important part of any game, the achievements, bonus maps and challenge maps make it playable long after you've "beaten" it.

Overall score: 4.8/5. It would be five, but the game itself is only about 3 hours long. Other than that, it's one of the best games I've ever played.

The first of (what I hope to be many) the video game reviews!
Topic: Video game reviews

 As you can see, I'm putting this blog to its true use - reviewing video games. And since I've been playing PC more and more lately, I'll start with... a PC game!

Dungeon Siege

This game was the first done by the video game company Gas Powered Games. It was made in 2002, and it was one of the first PC games I ever truly tried.

It was a pretty low-end game, which made it perfect for my lame-ass computer. It was compelling, and my first real experience with RPG's (except for Pokémon, which hardly counts). I didn't actually get into it until a couple of years after I got it from a friend, but when I tried it, I was hooked.

There was hardly any story compared to most RPG's; it's been compared to Diablo in many ways, and having recently tried Diablo, I can safely say that that comparison is very fair.

It was more of an RTS than an RPG, but there was enough story so that you weren't starving for it. The 3D elements were a nice difference from Diablo, including a movable camera.

The story takes place in the Kingdom of Ehb, labelled as "the last safe place on the Plain of Tears", which had descended into chaos. In the game, you take control of a customizable farmer who must rise to become a hero and save Ehb.

Your character could be male or female, and after battling a couple of enemies you could choose to become a warrior (fighter), archer, nature (white) mage or combat (black) mage, or any combination thereof.

My first time through, I was a combat mage, and the only grievance I had was that you died too quickly on "normal" difficulty, unless you were a warrior. I would suggest going on easy until you gain more characters.

My verdict (because this is becoming way too long)? If you're not really into RPG's, then pick this one up, because it can get you into them. It's got enough action to satisfy any and all fighting game fans, with enough story to get you used to RPG's. But it steals a fair amount of its ideas from Diablo, if not the story then the gameplay. The graphics are pretty mediocre for the time, but if you're looking for a simple time-waster, then here it is. My rating: 3.7/5

Pokemon parties
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Dragonforce
Topic: Video games, understood.

Sorry for missing so much time. Seeing as this is the Internet and there could be many people from many (non)religions reading this, let me wish you all a Happy Chrismahannakwanzaakah (heard it over a grocery store intercom a few years back ;))

NOTE:: Read the title. If you aren't into pokémon, you will be lost rather quickly. I have been playing Pokémon a lot lately, and have become somewhat obsessed with creating the "perfect party" - that is to say, a party with all sorts of different types, which I consider to be the coolest of the generation.

So I took out a pencil and paper, along with lists of all the pokemon (sometimes simply using a game's pokedex) and compiled parties for the RBY, GSC, RSE and DPePl generations (Red Blue Yellow, Gold Silver Crystal, Ruby Sapphire Emerald, and Diamond Pearl Platinum, respectively), along with "combo parties" using previous generations.

And yes, you attentive rascal you, FireRed and LeafGreen AREN'T on the list since they're remakes of Red and Green (the latter being unreleased outside of Japan, we got Yellow instead).

So, here we go:

RBY

Venusaur, Raichu, Arcanine, Dragonite, Rhydon, Dewgong.

This party was actually all chosen minus one before I could decide on a starter. I wanted Dragonite and Arcanine from the start, and added Dewgong for a water-type. I knew I needed one, and seeing as Blastoise was my least favourite starter, I went with the Dewgong. Used Rhydon for a rock/ground type, Raichu for another "cool" pokémon and Venusaur because it was the only starter that didn't conflict with the others (Charizard being flying like Dragonite and Blastoise being water like Dewgong).

GSC

Feraligatr, Togetic, Scizor, Ampharos, Houndoom, Tyranitar.

This is my favourite generation out of the four, so none of the pokémon are chosen due to desperation. I actually like Typhlosion better than Feraligatr for a starter, but I like Houndoom better than Typhlosion. They were all chosen because I thought they were cool, and one of the great things about this generation was that if I had a type conflict, I could switch out one for another.

RBYGSC

And now for our first combo party, using the first two generations. For ease, I just used the two previously chosen parties, because what pokémon are better than the ones from the "perfect" party?

Arcanine, Dragonite, Rhydon, Feraligatr, Scizor, Ampharos.

There were some hard picks here (foregoing Tyranitar due to Dragonite was especially hard) but again, ones that I like without type conflicts, which can be murder as all those who have read on this far will likely know.

 RSE

Blaziken, Aggron, Salamence, Manectric, Grumpig, Sharpedo.

I half-lied when I said I have been obsessing about the "perfect" party thing recently; it started with this generation. I started with a starter this time, and chose others based on that; I had Salamence because it was kind of like a tiny nod-off to Dragonite, one of my all-time faves.

A little side note here; Grumpig was one of my lesser favourite pokémon in this list, but ends up making it quite far.

RBYGSCRSE

For this one, I just took the RBYGSC party and combo'd it with this one, choosing two RBY, two GSC and two RSE pokémon to keep fair representation.

Arcanine, Dragonite, Feraligatr, Ampharos, Aggron, Grumpig.

Remember my note about Grumpig? It made it because due to type conflicts with Dragonite (make that HUGE conflicts) I needed another RSE pokémon. This is the reason we have so many normal-types.

DPePl

Ahh, the newest games (Platinum not being released for two more months). I made a "perfect" party before sitting down for my first serious playthrough (I always play through once just to beat it, and then my "serious" one is intended to flesh out the story, and I get into it, as the gameboy colour commercial goes).

Infernape, Staraptor, Luxray, Lucario, Garchomp, Lumineon.

This was another "pick based on starter" one, where I chose Chimchar based on those commercials. Staraptor was the most appealing flyer, Lumineon the most appealing water-type, Garchomp the only real dragon-type.

RBYGSCRSEDPePl (Wow that's a lot of letters!)

For this one, I'm going to put them in order of generation, for a look at what could be considered my "battle tower" party.

RBY: Arcanine, Dragonite

GSC: Feraligatr

RSE: Aggron, Grumpig

DPePl: Luxray

One of the things I found most interesting about this is although GSC is my favourite gen and DPePl the newest, they each have only one while the original gen and my least favourite one (gotta give DPePl credit due to innovation) each have two. Although GSC is explained by the extent to which it relied on RBY (kinda like Canada and the U.S.; and being Canadian I can say that)

As I said before, for RBY the only two based on favourite-ness (which, in the end, is the basis for all decisions) made it to the end, while in GSC one of the "lesser favourites" made it. Same with RSE - I chose Grumpig and Aggron out of necessity.

Luxray, on the other hand, is my favourite of DPePl. One advantage of having so few new pokemon (107, only 80 available during the main game; 81 if you count Manaphy). 

A pattern I noticed as I tallied up these parties to post here was that for each one, I had to have one each of flying, water and dragon, if possible. GSC relied on Dragonite for a dragon type, and I couldn't choose that;  I only used new pokémon, you'll notice. So one flying, one water, one dragon, one starter if the starter wasn't water; and any others I found cool.

As one last note, it's obvious that one of the biggest problems of Pokémon is coming up with all those new pokémon. I mean, Skuntank? Classy. Most of those evolutions only available in the National Dex of DPePl? So f****d up AND raping all of my childhood memories, all at once! Huzzah!

New Pokémon in RBY: 151

New Pokémon in GSC: 100

New Pokémon in RSE: 135

New Pokémon in DPePl: 81 before National Dex, 107 after

See a pattern? We'll either see something like 120 new pokémon in the fifth generation or 60 in it. 

Not to be pessimistic, but I'm banking on something on the south side of 90 at least.

The Gamer's Creed
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Video games, understood.

Decided to do this for the hell of it. Here goes...

The Gamer's Creed

The Gamer's Creed is to beat the last level.

 To kill the bad guy, save the princess, rescue the nation, it doesn't matter, the end result is the same.

 Gamers are called, obsessive, selfish, overly needy, pr0n/vg addicts who would sell their younger siblings for the latest Diablo patch.

 But non-gamers have it all wrong.

 We aren't addicted, we're committed. We aren't obsessive, we're focused. We're not selfish, we're introverted. We're not overly needy, we just happen to love our mothers.

 Video games provide us with what other people find in real life; a way to fit in, to be ourselves.

 In action/fighting games, it's beating the high scores. In adventure games, it's getting all of the unlockables. In fps's, it's teabagging every c*******ing m*********ing bad guy we kill. In rpg's, it's exploring every nauseating bit of world in the hopes of finding the secret of skipping straight to the end, and not doing it.

 Yet from every angle, however which way you look at it, the end result is the same;

To beat the last level.

***

I've been in an existential mood lately, and I haven't posted in quite a while, so here's this.

Zakaroo out.

Best. News. EVAR.
Mood:  happy
Topic: Anti-anti-gaming

Jack Thompson appears to be no more.

 I only have two words to say to that: Fuck YES!

 For those of you who don't know, Jack Thompson is a famous anti-gaming attorney, who hates games, especially those made by Rockstar Games such as the GTA series and Bully. 

 So this news, on a scale of one to ten, is about a fourteen at least.

On the other hand, you kinda feel sorry for the guy, but for me at least that's overshadowed by the fact that one of our (the gamers') biggest oppressors appears to have been felled.

Let's just hope it stays that way, and that he finds another line of work. Like a custodian for Rockstar Games. Oh man, that would be so ironic... lol

P.S. Sorry for so long with no posts, life's gotten in the way. I'll try to post more often.

Zakaroo Out.

New... lunchbox?!?
Mood:  d'oh
Topic: Other
A nintendo lunchbox. They gutted out a NES... and turned it into a lunchbox. Makes me tempted to do the same to an old one of mine...

New game by...
Topic: Videogame planning

Me!!

 Yes, that's right, I'm going to try my hand at making a game. Just something I'll put up for download on the main site, for free. I'm making it using free tools, which will totally be credited in the game (if I make it), but I'm making it final-fantasy-ish (as in the first six games). Still very much in planning, but I'm going to try it.

I KNEW Nintendo wouldn't leave us high & dry.
Mood:  surprised
Topic: Videogame planning

THEY DIDN'T FORSAKE ME!!! THEY'RE NOT THAT BIG OF BASTARDS!

*nerdgasm*

Sorry... got that "nerdgasm" thing from Ctrl+Alt+Del. Definitely recommended for pc gamers.

Still leaves the question... since they're doing this, why did they announce at E3 that they weren't targeting hardcore anymore? A big botch up they are now trying to cover with this?

Zakaroo out.